An Assassin’s Essential Guide to Concord College

What’s a better way to start the second half of the term than to be welcomed by the Hunger Games? Concord has done it again; it never fails to surprise me. Both students (all 485 of us) and teachers were equipped with these plastic spoons which they used to assassinate their targets by tapping the spoon strictly on the back of their shoulder while shouting, “You have been assassinated!” Warning: This game is not for those with weak hearts.

For the last two weeks, I was not able to see people as students with books in their hands. No, I saw assassins. I saw highly-trained (surely CIA candidates) killers who were equipped with lethal weapons lurking around the hallways. Concord students did not fail to excel in this game; they were constantly coming up with clever schemes and plans that were meticulously laid out to perfection. Don’t be fooled by the simple use of utensils. This game is of the highest, most extreme level (I’d like to think even flappy bird is nowhere as challenging.)

The rules are fairly simple. The prefects will send you the name of your target and you will have to assassinate them within two days, otherwise you would expire. It is an absolute must to shout “You have been assassinated!” while tapping your target on the back of his/her neck. The game plays from 9 am – 10 pm on weekdays only. You are not allowed to assassin during classes or prep. After assassinating your target, you have to reply to your prefect to acquire the name of your next kill. And finally, my two favourite rules: shout “Disarm!” to your assassin to prevent from being assassinated (shame that it only lasts for 5 minutes) and that the library, dining hall and sports hall are safe zones (these places became my safe haven).

With my back against the wall, I (at least, attempted to) activated my hawk eyes and scanned the area for any possible threats. Plastic spoon always in hand (not carrying it was like not wearing pants); I took a deep breath and aimed to kill. I sprinted down to the jubilee block (not as quietly as I’d like) and tapped my target on the back of his neck before he could disarm me. Another win for me, I thought, as I walked off to my next class and to my next kill. I remember it was Thursday when I got the news that I made it to Round 2.

Well, if Round 1 was that intense, what could Round 2 possibly be like? On Tuesday, Zenon, who organised the game with the other prefects, sent out the e-mail that launched a thousand ships. In this e-mail was the list of 25 assassins who made it. The rules were also slightly twisted. Instead of having a target, you are free to assassinate anyone on the list and anyone on the list can assassinate you too. By the end of the second day, there was only 9 assassins left; Stephanie Ngai, Nicole Ooi, Christopher Wong, Justin Kwik, Kent Khai (last year’s winner), Michael Hands, Jack Diiasio and silly old me (the teachers need to up their game).This round was an all-consuming, kill or to be killed battle. At the level of this intensity, surely there were a number of disputes that were raised due to people having different recollections of what happened in that split-second of being assassinated or people bending the rules. However, they were quickly settled by Zenon, who made all assassinations official by sending out the most updated list of survivors every night.

As a spoon assassin, I have developed a good amount of paranoia and awareness (I might have grown a third eye on the back of my neck). I would love to play this game again. I mean, who doesn’t love to see that look of pure bewilderment on their target’s face after you have assassinated them? With the warmer weather settling in and the game lightening up the atmosphere (which was a good company to all the studying that’s been happening); Concord has done it once again. It really aims to please.

And finally, may the best assassin win.

plastic spoons

Astrid Suryandari 6.1